Before I deleted my dating apps, I saw a guy on Tinder who’s profile mentioned that women who had specific height requirements for dating needed to pull their heads out of their asses. Maybe not in those exact words, but I could read between the lines. I was tempted to try and match with him just to find out exactly how short he is. Because while it doesn’t sound so bad in my head, when it comes out of my mouth that I can’t possibly date anyone under 6’2, I realise how incredibly shallow and awful that sounds. But hear me out for five minutes, and let me plead my case.
It is not that I think men who are shorter than me are not attractive. On the contrary, there are plenty of guys shorter than me who are hot. I still wouldn’t date them. It is not that I think men who are shorter than me are boring or stupid. I have actually found the opposite – I have met a lot of men shorter than me who are brilliant. I have met men shorter than me who are funny, easy going, and I have a great time with them.
I just have not ever wanted to rip their clothes off and/or have a relationship with them. And look, I did “date” a short guy once (by date I think we hung out and made out a couple of times) and I distinctly remember walking through a shopping center and just getting stares. All the stares. Maybe it was in my head, but I don’t think so.
My height requirements for dating have absolutely nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with ME. I am 5’10 (about 178cm) and in heels, well over 6 foot. I am not a delicate woman. I am not a string bean. If I am honest, I could stand to lose about 10kgs. Good thing I am tall, as I can usually carry these extra 10kgs quite well.
But my size does make me self conscious about my sex appeal. I walked through a group of men of varying ages recently and heard one say, “She looks like a strong one, eh?” Seriously.
All I want is a giant, who will wrap his big arms around me, pull my head to his chest and hold me tight and make me feel small. Make me feel feminine. Make me feel like I am sexy. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, if I feel sexy within myself I will look sexy and all that other rubbish. I’m working on it. For now, what makes me feel sexy is being smaller than my man.
Having a height preference is no different to having a preference on hair colour/eye colour/race or ethnicity/beard or clean shaven. It is just another physical trait that makes up what we are or aren’t attracted to. Please do not take my height requirement for dating as a slight on your personality or looks.
It’s just that I don’t want to be the big spoon. I want to be the little spoon.
Are you tall? Do you have height requirements for dating? Of even more curiosity – are you in a relationship with a man who is shorter than you?